


A Meeting of Minds

by joisbishmyoga



Series: A Lick of Sense [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Hermione Granger is scarier than you, author does not know whether to be scared or gleeful, just surrender to Hermione now, let's be honest the Map is a terrifying artifact, like what is it even, why do i keep doing this to myself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 15:50:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7538680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joisbishmyoga/pseuds/joisbishmyoga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The twins test a prank.  It does not go well for them.  It will go far worse for Hermione's enemies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Meeting of Minds

"They do WHAT?" Hermione shrieked.  
  
The Map paused mid-word.  Then...  _They're_ gremlins _, Miss Granger, not House Elves anymwmwmw~~~_  
  
 _Mr. Moony would like to politely recommend that Mr. Padfoot stuff it, and remind all of us that the practice appeals to such esteemed personages as Mr. Padfoot's dearest Trixie--_  
  
 _Oh sweet Merlin let her wand break amen._  
  
 _\-- and thus is completely appalling despite common lack of opinion!_  
  
 _"Lack_ of--?!" Hermione echoed, but the Map startled in her grip, inkblots jerking into a series of question marks.  Pages rustling, it folded several flaps of itself down over her thumb, twisting until it could show the hallway that held her unused, dusty classroom... and, three corridors away, another classroom, this one with two pairs of footprints and a veritable horde of names all sliding over each other.  Those she could see all seemed to be surnamed Weasley, and at least two of them were Ginnys.  
  
What. On. Earth.  
  
"We _will_ be discussing this later," Hermione warned, before stuffing the Map in her pocket and rushing out the door.  
  
Two corridors, and Hermione started hearing definite screaming.  
  
By the time she reached the classroom, it sounded exactly like the Burrow on that day the twins' lab exploded, only -- magically, impossibly -- _louder_.  
  
She slammed open the door, wand at the ready, only for the Silencio to catch in her throat.  Weasleys, check.  Number of bodies: two.  Number of heads... questionable.  
  
Whatever stupid prank the twins had been testing had gone horrifyingly wrong.  While one of the twins looked perfectly normal except for the horrified yelling and the hexes sparking his hair into a static-fluffed Einsteinian mess, the other one had a horde of minature Weasleys like Medusa snakes on his head.  
  
More sparks were flying between the entire Weasley family, in at least triplicate, on probably-George's head.  Most of them were being spat, literally, by a team of Ginnys, all at the half-dozen writhing, howling, laughing twins sprouting from maybe-Fred's temples.  There were three Rons biting two ears, four Percys and a Charlie (unless it was a cousin Hermione had also never met, but Charlie seemed like a good guess) trying to corral the dozen younger... tendrils?... into order, and a cluster of Bills and yet another Percy discussing something at top volume that Hermione couldn't hear properly over the din.  
  
The twin without a nest of siblings on his head cast something at the other one that did absolutely nothing for all of about thirty seconds.  Then, slowly, three Mollys rose from the very top of the nest like Godzilla from the depths.  
  
"What. Is. Going. On. Here?" they shouted in chorus, and every other Weasley in the room froze.  
  
"That's what I'd like to know," Hermione said into the silence.  
  
The twins jerked around, staring at her in shock.  "This isn't what it looks like."  
  
Right.  "It looks like you're testing a prank that went badly wrong."  
  
"Er."  
  
The Map in Hermione's pocket rustled, as one twin muttered 'okay so maybe it is rather', and then rustled again more insistently.  Oh for... what now?  
  
 _Mr. Prongs regrets to inform you that, while the H-word would not appear on the Map, all variations of the Light version would._  
  
And the Map had been showing the Medusa-Weasleys as if they were the real person.  
  
Hermione felt the blood drain from her face.  "What did you DO?!"  
  
But the twins were staring at the Map.  "Where did you get that?!"  
  
"From Harry, I've been studying with it, _do you have any idea what you've done_?!"  
  
"Got Mum when we were trying for lions?"  
  
"Oh, for..."  Hermione was not going to hex them.  Yet.  "That's it.  You're studying with me."  She grabbed both twins by the ear.  "If you can do this sort of Light magic by accident I do not want to know what you'll end up doing next."  
  
"Ow!  Hermione!  OW!"  
  
"And while the Map tells me how to fix this, you're going to tell me what ingredients you swapped out in your Stheno Potion!"  
  
"OW!  It was just the green rat snake scales!  With our own hair!"  
  
"And you didn't think of using lion fur?!"  
  
"But we're Gryffindors!  And lions don't come in a proper bright red!  OW!"

**Author's Note:**

> So now Hermione's alliance consists of Rita, the Map, and the twins. The poor, poor Death Eaters. Mwahaha.


End file.
